Posts Tagged 'happiness'

loving ME.

I’m PROUD of who I am. Proud of my roots, my culture, my choices. Being a Filipina and growing up with the ideals that I have. Honoring the opportunity to influence young students and instill some knowledge in their media-centric brains (by which, I mean that they focus too much on various media to the point that it shapes who they are)… For the first time in a long while, I can truly say that I LOVE myself.

Tonight Shamcey Supsup boosted my pride as a Filipino because she had a smart answer in the Q&A portion of Ms. Universe. She couldn’t please everyone with her answer (some people over-analyzed it) but she said it so well–she was articulate and sincere. She had conviction. She didn’t masquerade herself with an answer that everyone expects at contests like these; she stayed true to herself, something I admire even more than her artistic and academic skills. In an interview after the show, she said that maybe now, after her victory, people will treat her differently because she achieved something big, but her personality won’t change. She will still stay the same person she’s always been. I don’t know why this struck me so much, but I respect her for saying that. I believe in it; I won’t change for anything either, because I am ME, and I SHOULD be happy with who I am.

That the Ms. Universe show made me realize all this just goes to show that beauty contests per se are not wrong in that they promote a certain image of beauty. You actually learn a lot by watching it, like the politics of it and the different countries in the world (which can even get you thinking why there are some well-known countries that are not part of the event). It makes you analyze/examine/reflect on your lack of/presence of nationalism. It makes you THINK, in short. And for me, tonight, it made me whole as a person. As a woman. Because Shamcey, if not all the contestants, reminded me that I AM A WOMAN, an intelligent human being capable of doing some good in the world with what I know and with what others don’t know. I AM A WOMAN and I have beliefs, principles, and perspectives of different things that may affect how things run. I am a WOMAN and I am powerful.

I am happy with who I am–happy and wise enough to know that if I truly love myself, what others think of me should not matter. I am who I am and I don’t need to please other people. Likewise, it doesn’t matter if others surpass me in skill, intelligence, kindness, etc. as long as I respect and love myself and just do the best I can in the world.

I am so proud of myself, because I finally learned to love myself. It’s something we should all learn to do and shout out loud: I LOVE MYSELF!!!

On Happiness.

A lot of girls think that everything will be better once, ‘that cute boy asks them out’, or they get invited to the ‘cool’ party or they get elected home coming queen or once they have sex. So many of us make loving ourselves depended upon something outside of ourselves. So many of us make being complete, depended on being with someone else and being fulfilled, depended on accomplishment. But it’s not someone else’s job to make us happy. It’s your job to make yourself happy and to know who you are, and if you don’t know yourself, or love yourself, how do you expect someone else to.”

-Lucy Camden, 7th Heaven

Just a little something I posted on my Tumblr site yesterday. It was the day I saw so many quotes that hit me hard in the heart, because I was hating on everything at the moment. Hating my life, hating myself, hating the world for being unbelievably cruel. I was so angry that nothing good ever came my way–that I wasn’t falling in love or finishing my thesis like everybody else. I don’t know where all the bitterness came from, but it’s been building up lately, and I couldn’t shake it off, because I felt like I had a right to feel bad. But then I remembered some parts of Eminem’s lyrics in Airplanes Part 2:

“Let’s pretend Marshall Mathers never picked up a pen
let’s pretend things would have been no different
pretend he procrastinated had no motivation
pretend he just made excuses that were so paper thin they could blow away with the wind…”

“…he never risked shit he hopes and he wished it but it didn’t fall in his lap so he ain’t even here…”

(Read more: http://www.killerhiphop.com/b-o-b-airplanes-2-lyrics-eminem/#ixzz0yetWkVIc)

And then I realized, if I don’t feel good at present, it means I messed up in the past, and so if I want a good future, I need to work on it. Just because I don’t feel inspired or motivated by anything, doesn’t mean I have the right to go around saying “I don’t care anymore, I quit” or “stfu about graduation!” Although naturally I don’t really say that. The point is, I should stop this unhealthy living of mine of waiting for inspiration to come (aka happiness) so that I can finally work diligently again. It might never come, and things don’t just fall on our laps. I’ve got to take the bull that is my thesis by the horns and stop making excuses. I’ve got to work.

…After I’ve had dinner. Nobody can work on an empty stomach.


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